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HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT MATE…
Perhaps you have heard of Leah. She was one of Jacob’s two wives. You’ve probably heard the story about her in the Bible, but today, I’d like to tell you the rest of the story.
In the 29th chapter of Genesis, Jacob had fled from home after deceiving his father to receive the blessing of the first-born that belonged to his twin brother Esau. Upon arriving in Paddan Aram where his uncle Laban lived, he came to a well where he first met Rachel, Laban’s youngest daughter. She was young and beautiful and had curves in all the right places. Furthermore she was fun to talk to and be with. It was love at first sight. Jacob kissed her during their first meeting and his emotions were overflowing toward her. Within a month, he had agreed to work seven years for her because he had no money for a dowry to give her father.
Jacob lived with Laban and his family during these seven years. Rachel had one sister who was older and not as attractive whose name was Leah. Everyone treated Rachel better because she was more beautiful. No one seemed to love Leah, not even Jacob who was a man of God. He gave all his attention to Rachel.
He was so in love with Rachel that those seven years of work without pay seemed to fly by. When the seven years were up, he had to remind Laban it was time to marry his daughter. Laban reluctantly agreed and arranged the wedding ceremony. The bride in those days was covered from head to toe in the wedding gown. Jacob took her into his dark tent and consummated the marriage.
When sunlight pierced the canvas in the morning, Jacob was horrified to see Leah lying next to him. He jumped out of his sack and ran to Laban to find out what would make him pull such a prank. Laban made up some lie about how their tradition only allowed them to marry off the oldest daughter first. To make matters even worse, Laban said Jacob could take Rachel at the end of the wedding week as long as he agreed to work an additional seven years for her. Jacob felt like he had no choice but to agree.
If there was ever a marriage that was built on deceit, it was this one. No one would have faulted Jacob if he had had his marriage with Leah annulled. No one has begun a marriage with a deception as great as this one. But Jacob did not dissolve the marriage, nor did her resent Leah for her part in this deception.
Jacob went on to take Rachel as his wife. He favored her and her children (Joseph & Benjamin) over Leah and her children.
Rachel was a demanding wife who told Jacob to give her children or she would die. She also stole her father’s idols and lied about it. Leah, on the other hand did none of these kind of things but only strove to please her husband.
Sometime later in Jacob’s life, he received a divine revelation that the coming Messiah was going to come through the tribe of Judah. Jacob realized that God had chosen Leah to be the great, great…grandmother of JESUS, not Rachel. If God had favored Leah, shouldn’t Jacob as well? It was for this reason that Jacob asked to be buried next to Leah for all eternity, instead of Rachel.
If Jacob could have lived his life over, I think he would have looked at these two women through the eyes of God, rather than his flesh, and he would have chosen Leah. He would have seen that she was the one who would best connect him to JESUS. He would have only had to work seven years for Laban and not 14. He would have avoided many of the other problems he had as well. When we focus on a person’s spirit and fall in love with their spirit, attraction to their soul (heart & mind) and body will follow.
Most Christians make the mistake of looking for a “soul-mate” with whom they have “chemistry”. But if we learn from Jacob’s mistake, we will instead look for our “spirit-mate”, that is, someone who best connects us to JESUS, just as Leah connected Jacob to JESUS.
Your “spirit-mate” will probably come in a package that you least suspect. They will probably be too old, or too young; too fat, or too skinny; too ugly or too quiet or just too something. If you have your mind set on what your ideal person is like, you’ll probably miss the one that God has for you, just like Jacob did. Keep an open heart to everyone God puts in your path and treat them like JESUS. Then, and only then, will you recognize the one God has set aside for you.
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